me and parking lots do not get along. me and people don't normally get along either. put those two together, and oh dear Jesus, it is no bueno. so this morning i'm trying to park, and much to my dismay i forgot how stupid some people are. as i hit the second floor of the worlds oldest parking deck known to man, i spot a spot! i whipped around the corner so fast i swear i felt the whole thing shake. i get ready to pull my little civic in, and then i realize the DUMB ASS in the mini-van next to me is taking up her spot, plus half of mine...to top that off this biotch is still sitting in her car...watching me try and adjust myself . she then proceeds to get out of her car AND WATCH. after about five minutes of backing up and yelling i gave up and continued on my epic journey. Once i hit floor five, i'm starting to wonder if class is really worth all this baby mamma drama. then from afar i see it, in all its parking spot glory just sitting there next to the door to the stairwell and all. My heart began to flutter in excitement! once i get close enough to pull in out of nowhere this chick, who seems to be the lovechild of Troy Polamalu, Aretha Franklin and maybe a little Shrek...so anyhow this Shemale was LITERALLY standing in front of my car so i couldn't pull into the spot. she was playing the Defensive line, guarding this wonderful spot from me. TR-RETH-EK (this is what i would imagine her name was) was holding the phone to her ear in one hand, and the other one out telling me to stop. we was about to have ourselves a little parking spot show down, civic vs. mount rushmore...it was on. i started to inch closer verrrry slowly. once i got close enough to be within the parking lines homegirl starts to yell "oh my god white girl is gonna run me ova." i swear, those were her exact words...at this point i had no fight in me, so i surrendered to TR-RETH-EK, or so she thought. yes, she did see my drive off into the sunset but she also saw me call security on her. i ended up being late to my 9:30 this morning, but it was all worth seeing TR-RETH-EK, and friend get $100 tickets for violating school policy and disrupting the flow of traffic.
life is good.
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